When a Fire Bird Freezes
Survivor, such a strange label
Does it really apply to me?
I’d suppose everyone is really
From a cripple pulling on his favourite
Socks, to a working class family
–
Having run bare foot from Grenfell Tower
Smudged faces, bruises and cuts
The bittersweet pain of having escaped
The Survivor’s Trust web page glaring
From my phone at 4.35AM…again
–
There is no sweetness to my tears
I only taste a bitterness and then
The ‘Myth busting’ section draws me in
A bodiless voice with no name, speaks
Softly in my ear –
–
‘If you reacted this way during an assault
Know that it was not your fault’..it goes on
–
I have heard these words before from
Familiar faces, they have rushed off
The tongue like a swarm of fairies
Desperate to flick their wands and
Disappear us all from this present
–
It is a gift for which I am not entirely
Ungrateful, on seeing this Internet text
My tears burst forth like a geyser, inside
Something has sunk a little deeper,
The faintest honey smell begins to linger
–
And with that man’s intrusion
A party for all past demons to rock n roll
They travel far, pay no toll, in the early
Hours but mine is a chance to make
Accommodation with them all!
–
No more will I be disappointed
At my brain’s freezing on the spot
Or punish my body over and over with too
Much alcoholic stupor, I will not live
In a paralysis that has no purpose
–
I look back on my calendar to that day
And realise with great surprise – I was busy!
It was more than attack, I was at a fayre
My boy’s school, then dancing with my
Friends.. A slight beer fear after that’s all
–
Flood my mind with good memories
Fractured though they are, give me a
Shield, some armour for the court
Help me, steal back as he stole so easily
What is mine, I ask the ether
As I drift off back to sleep